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An Addition

So in the midst of trying to start up a farm, we found out that we were expecting a child. A word to the wise, do not take a pregnancy test alone. If it comes out to be positive the rush of emotions is intense. I took mine while my husband was at a seminar and wasn’t going to be home until late, and I did it on a work night where I had to be up at 4:30am to be to my job by 6:00am. I did not sleep well to say the least. My poor dog was following me around the house, upstairs, downstairs, throughout the dining room, in the kitchen, I just paced and talked to myself. This was what I wanted right? Can we really be parents in 9 short months? I did a good job at keeping Odin alive, so I think I will be ok. What if I am not a good mom? What if I am over my head? What if? What if? It was all encompassing.

When my husband finally came home at around 11:00pm, I told him that I was pregnant and started to cry. “I thought that this is what you want?” he asked in his calm voice. It was, I mean it is, I wasn’t so sure now that it actually happened. Once I came to the fact that I would be bringing a beautiful baby into this world, I was elated. I truly always wanted to be a mom, it was one of the few goals in life that I knew I had to be.

Nine months later in November, my daughter was born via C-section, due to her being breeched. My husband was in the operating room holding my hand. When they finally pulled her out, everything was right in the world. Recovery was tough, I mean I literally had my stomach sliced open to remove a 5lb 8.5oz baby and then stitched, glued and taped. I couldn’t drive for at least 5 weeks, I couldn’t pick up anything heavier than my baby, and I had to limit any exercise. But holding that precious baby girl in my arms was the best feeling I ever had. I never knew how much love my heart could give, and here it was in this little being.